Alpha Schmalpha......

 

Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They're just braver five minutes longer. ----Ronald Reagan

 

During a discussion about alpha males, a dear writer friend chided me and said I was a ‘true beta lover’.

Why?

Because I love a man who has that trace of something that lets him cry, lets him be in touch with—and, damn, does this ever sound cliché?—his sensitive side. I was going to say his feminine side, but who says crying was strictly a girl thing?

Busted. She’s right. I accept my crown graciously and wear it with pride.

But, wait.

The truth of the matter is, I decided to research alpha and beta males.

After studying, I admit my idea of what constitutes an alpha male was pretty much off target. For some reason, I believed alphas had to be perfect in every way—strength, confidence, looks, charm, the whole checklist of qualities to make him…well, a hero. Turns out, like I said, I was wrong. The distinction between alphas and betas is really nothing more than a matter of leadership, a take-charge, protector persona as opposed to a more secondary male role.

The role of beta male was, however, more clearly defined. And it was as follows: An unremarkable, careful man who avoids risk and confrontation. Beta males lack the physical presence, charisma and confidence of the Alpha male.

Aha! Turns out, according to that description, I may have to relinquish my Queen of the Beta Lovers crown because that is not the personification of the male characters I love.

Here’s the question, then, if the above is truly a portrait of a beta male: Who the hell is the character I love? So he cries, sure. But he does not avoid risk or confrontation, he certainly doesn't lack physical presence, and most assuredly does have charisma and confidence.

So. Is he an alpha or not? I don’t know. You tell me.

Many writers and readers feel that an alpha male indeed can be vulnerable, can cry. In fact, they love them more when they do exhibit these tendencies.

But others argue that it emasculates them to some degree, strips them of the alpha status. Many see this in the case of real-life relationships as well. Let a man cry at something, and he's out the door on his bum faster than you can say Jack Be Nimble.

Does crying, being easily affected by emotion, make a man less masculine? I don’t think so. If anything, I think it makes him more masculine, simply for the fact that he's strong enough, confident enough to not feel the need to hide behind a macho persona.

Jose Saramago said this: I never appreciated 'positive heroes' in literature. They are almost always clichés, copies of copies, until the model is exhausted. I prefer perplexity, doubt, uncertainty, not just because it provides a more 'productive' literary raw material, but because that is the way we humans really are.

Interesting!

An example who comes to my mind is King David. Powerful King of Jerusalem, fearless leader of legions in his army. Wise. Yet one of the most romantic, poetic souls in history. The Psalms contain some of the most agonizing, tearful, poignant prose ever written. Yet his constant inner angst personified the beauty of his character without negating his power.

I think I shall not categorize my heroes into alpha, beta, or any other Greek alphabet. They just are who they are. How about if I just call them the heroes of the story?

But for those who might feel there should be that distinction—alpha as opposed to beta—does a hero lose critical points for being sensitive and possibly vulnerable? As long as these softer sides of his persona do not thwart his ability to take control, can he still be an alpha male?